Monash University CC News
By Phillip Hill
I hope this email finds you and your family well. Remember Phillip with two L's for any future Pearsons. You may have thought that being an EX- MCA man would mean an end to unpleasant emails from me but this is not the case.
I have to inform you that the best two balls I have seen delivered this season have come from young Master Cole. Both angled in, hit the seam and tore off stump from the ground; utterly unplayable and wasted on the standard of cricket they were delivered in.
Could I offer you a small consultation in that he also delivered the worst over for the year, containing three wides, and even the young gentleman(the Monash club is replete with gentleman) was pleased to see the end of the over. He also played two imperious cut shots and seemed like he was about to play a great innings. Luckily the Monash players, at the other end, committed suicide to prevent the Cole Train from continuing. It seems that even though the Monash players could not get into University and had to go to Monash, they have both intelligence and sensitivity.
Once again Monash lost a game that I umpired and, once again, there was no rancor from the players. It is often said the only the losing team complains about the umpires but we both know that captains, teams and players can raise themselves about the common rut and be a credit to themselves and club.
I did crack a wobbly with Bruce, who turns up without a proper Monash cap, wearing the most ugly(he thinks cool) caps. I spent some of my umpiring fee on buying him a Monash cap and he immediately took four wickets. We must think about getting him to stop smoking and having that scar(tattoo) removed He will then look, in my wife's terms, drop dead gorgeous and becoming a leading player.
Circulate this email amongst the club. That I an invited to be a part of the MCA and your club means I am certainly LUCKY PHIL.
Keep your finger up,